<meta name='google-adsense-platform-account' content='ca-host-pub-1556223355139109'/> <meta name='google-adsense-platform-domain' content='blogspot.com'/> <!-- data-ad-client=ca-pub-2599436015694245 --> <!-- --><style type="text/css">@import url(https://www.blogger.com/static/v1/v-css/navbar/3334278262-classic.css); div.b-mobile {display:none;} </style> </head><body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d8517087\x26blogName\x3dMy+World+(Watashi+no+Sekai~)\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLACK\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://manmanqw.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://manmanqw.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d-7970240306514657341', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>
WHAT LIES-IN FRONT OF ME
/NOTE.
♥My World
hihi, thanks for dropping by.. here are the little little bits that form me.. :D

/GLAMOURESQUE
Name: Manman<3 ♥ ♥ ♥ God's Little Girl, Bb, Dance, Love, W16, Paint, Food, Sleep

/SPEECH

/CONTACT.
  • My little creations
  • My Multiply
  • My Friendster
  • /NETWORK.

    nonsense.

    CG-members

  • Kel-Bb
  • Jennifer
  • Pui Pui
  • Kai Li
  • Jacky
  • Kristine
  • Charmaine
  • Isabel
  • Verlin
  • Hui Wen
  • Isabel
  • Xiao Ping
  • Xi Hui
  • Kenneth
  • DeSong
  • Melvin
  • Ber
  • SiKai
  • Grace


  • CHC-Friends

  • Vinothini
  • Jessie
  • Terence
  • Regina Kam
  • Jeremy
  • Enoch
  • Calynne
  • Amanda
  • Nikz
  • Theresa
  • Aaron
  • Chewie
  • Veroy
  • Madeline
  • Xiao Xian
  • Nicole
  • Constance
  • Sandy
  • Lynette
  • Perlie
  • Rena
  • Chewie
  • Jeremy Hee
  • Sylvia
  • Jason
  • Rubez
  • Ray
  • Regina (SP POS)
  • Sing yee
  • Phileo
  • Rong Ping
  • Darryl
  • Evangeline/Shi Min
  • Shu Hui/Sunshine
  • Michelle


  • Poly-Friends

  • Kathleen
  • Shuen
  • Joan
  • Wei Liang
  • Zhen Ken


  • Sec-Sch-Friends

  • Zhi Ai
  • Christopher Goh


  • Others

  • Kiyoko
  • Liu Jing Jing
  • Po
  • Mabel
  • Jeannie
  • Hui Yu
  • Rou Hui
  • Eleanore
  • Joanne
  • Stephanie
  • Eunice
  • Ariel

  • /Archive
  • September 2004
  • October 2004
  • November 2004
  • December 2004
  • January 2005
  • February 2005
  • March 2005
  • April 2005
  • May 2005
  • June 2005
  • July 2005
  • August 2005
  • September 2005
  • October 2005
  • November 2005
  • December 2005
  • January 2006
  • February 2006
  • March 2006
  • April 2006
  • May 2006
  • June 2006
  • July 2006
  • August 2006
  • September 2006
  • October 2006
  • November 2006
  • December 2006
  • January 2007
  • February 2007
  • March 2007
  • April 2007
  • May 2007
  • June 2007
  • July 2007
  • August 2007
  • September 2007
  • October 2007
  • November 2007
  • December 2007
  • January 2008
  • February 2008
  • March 2008
  • April 2008
  • May 2008
  • June 2008
  • July 2008
  • August 2008
  • September 2008
  • October 2008
  • November 2008
  • December 2008
  • January 2009
  • February 2009
  • March 2009
  • June 2009
  • July 2009
  • August 2009
  • September 2009
  • /SOUL MUSIC.

    Friendship
    Thursday, February 24, 2005

    .. kinda felt i'm really blessed.. to get to know so many wonderful friends.. there's always something new for you to learn about them everydae.. haha..

    since the start.. there are very little times when i felt lonely.. cause there are always friends with me all the time..

    even when i am alone.. i'm not lonely.. cause my best friend will always be with me..

    Jesus..

    my best friend..
    &lovin' Bb at 2:16 PM♥
    wierd couple
    Tuesday, February 22, 2005

    yesterday.. when i was on my way to work... came across this weird couple.. i don't think they are singaporeans.. hee.. cause i saw them holding onto a MRT station directory.

    at first.. i was standing at the door.. then forgot at what station.. i saw an empty seat and i went to sit.. (the seat is 2nd nearest to the edge) then shortly after that.. the person beside me (the seat that's at the edge) left the train.. then this couple came to sit.. the lady sat down first.. then i was reading my Bible at that time.. then suddenly the lady tapped on me.. then she point at the tiny little space that's left on the other side of my seat..

    so i move over and she ask her boyfriend to sit down.. wah~~~ never seen this kind of people before.. wah.. so it's sooooooo squeezy.. cannot take it.. imagine.. 3 people squeeze on 2 seats.. luckily the train is e newer version one.. still quite spacious..

    really felt like giving up the seat and stand one lei.. but i was really tired at that time.. so i wanna sit down.. but is like usually people will not make this kind of request, asking people to move and can squeeze another person in.. those who do that are usually parents want to squeeze their kids in one what.. but this time is squeezing another adult lei.. somemore so big size sia.. wah.. then throughout the trip to raffles.. wah.. cramped.. then the lady (that couple) was sitting beside me.. her hair was like sooooooo long.. reach her butt one lei.. then that guy was like playing with her hair.. then her hair was soo long and tickles my hand.. wah.. cannot take it..

    then after when i reach raffles.. i got up earlier.. thought of giving the couple to sit better faster.. aiyoh.. they also alight at that stop sia.. ... ..

    then i was like super sian diao.. then from raffles to toa payoh.. everything was fine.. haha.. finally can have a seat of my own.. hee.. really couldn't forget this incident..
    &lovin' Bb at 1:31 PM♥
    Running after You, Jesus
    Saturday, February 19, 2005

    Jesus, He's the reason i live, He's the reason i sing.. i felt that this is really what i want.. to seek Him and run after Him for the rest of my life.

    many people might felt that i'm crazy.. be so busy working for someone so far away and you can't see Him... .. ..

    that's not true.. serving God, i'm satisfied, content. although i can't see Him with my natual eyes, i could always feel Him so near to me.

    He's my best friend. He knows me more than i know myself. without Him. i'm lost. without Him. i will have the strength to move on. without Him. i will die from inside out. without Him. i can't live.

    i'm on a race. running after God. the goal is to complete what God called me to do. i don't want to give up on the race.. but many times it's so difficult.. when the heat comes.. it's so unbearable.. but many times God will protect me under His wings.. i felt comforted. i felt relieved. i move on..

    this race.. sometimes there will be alot of people running together with you. there are many people who are running the race with you for a very long time.. some even overtaken you long ago.. but suddenly.. you realised you're alone..you look around.. they are no where to be found. they have given up.. left the race.. those times when you're running together are suddenly forgotten.. those times seems so real and so fake.. you don't know what to do.

    sometimes i will ponder to myself.. what happened?? i thought we're a team? why suddenly you left the race without informing in advance?? why you are running in a different direction from me? why suddenly leave just like that.. my heart felt so empty all of e sudden.. suddenly felt so sad.. felt like crying.. suddenly felt real lost.. suddenly i realised myself standing on the track.. can't move an inch.. suddenly have alot of flash backs.. my heart starts to hurt.. so hurt.. are all these memories for real?? or are they all lies?? i don't understand.. don't understand at all.. why you want to leave this race?? don't you feel empty? don't you feel lost? is leaving the race the only answer?? do you know that because of you.. i stopped on the track.. standing there.. trying to pull you back.. i shouted and shouted.. you can't hear me.. i cried and cried.. you still want to continue walking where you've decided to go.. why? why are you so different?? you've changed.. so is this e real you?.. i don't understand.. i don't know.. what should i do? how should i react??

    i don't know what i will do when i meet you again next time.. day by day it passed.. more and more i'm not willing to see your face again.. cause i don't know what i should react.. i'm afraid my emotions will get ahead of me.. i'm afraid see the other you.. i'm afraid.. to face the facts.. i'm afraid.. that i might broke down.. i'm afraid.. that i will fall.. i'm afraid.. that i will quit.. .. because of you..

    don't know why..

    suddenly have thoughts of quitting the race too.. ..

    i know i couldn't.. i should say i don't want to quit the race.. i have to move on.. i don't want to quit this race.. i want to continue run..

    run after Jesus.

    i know that He's my refuge.. He's able to pull me through different kinds of situations and circumstances. His wisdom is no end.. He's always so faithful.. even when you're faithless.. He's always there to give you support.. He's always there to cheer for you as you are running the race.. when you're thirsty.. He'll give you water to refresh yourself. when you're hungry.. He'll give you the strength to move on.

    My God..

    Jesus..

    ..

    ...

    I..

    I Love You..

    I don't wanna let You go..

    forever..

    even when people quit the race.. i will not follow them.. i will continue to plow through.. even how tired i am.. i need to move on.. i know that somewhere in front.. i can find rest.. somewhere in front.. i can refreshed once again.

    i realised that i shouldn't build my hope on others.. i should build my hope on God.. if you build your hope in others.. when they quit the race.. you'll be stumbled.. build your hope on Jesus.. as He's the author and finisher of our faith. leaning on Him, you'll be secured. you're safe..

    God.. thank You for all the things You've done in my life.. thank You.. i'm really grateful.. all e days of my life.. i know that those that left the race will come back and run with me again.. i have faith.. although it seems so impossible.. i know.. You'll make it happen.. i have faith in You..
    &lovin' Bb at 2:35 AM♥
    haha.. first time took to wrong train
    Tuesday, February 15, 2005

    haha.. first time in my life.. i took the wrong train.. hai~~ today i am super blur sia.. think not enough sleep.. haha..

    in the morning, i went to plaza sing to do project.. then after that need to rush for school.. then hai~~ i kept thinking that i was at outram.. so i took the train that's toward pongol.. (think wrong spelling.. haha..) then after that .. i alighted at little india and took the train on e other side~~.. wah.. so blur sia..

    i'm kind of well known for walking map.. ey.. means.. will never get lost with me around.. haha.. so think today is really an exception..haha.. today i'm really super blur sia.. must really record down this memorable moment of my life.. first time took the wrong train accidentily.. hehe..
    &lovin' Bb at 1:32 PM♥
    wow.. the performance's a success...! part 1
    Tuesday, February 08, 2005

    haha.. i'm so happy today... the performance is finally over.. after so many practises and stuff.. haha.. praise the Lord~

    today morning.. i woke up super early.. about 4am in the morning.. it's been ages since i woke up at that time.. haha.. anyway.. i'm really looking forward to go back to school..i wore my first costume at home and i went out.. (very lazy to change too many times.. ) wah.. on my way back to school.. all the memories start to came back.. hehe.. remember those times when i went out of my house.. the sky is still pitch dark.. it's always so cold, so quiet outside.. hee..

    i reach school at around 6:20am.. hee.. wah.. so early.. not alot of students are there.. i went to meet up with jennifer and pik wei.. we did out make up in the staff toilet.. haha.. so shuang.. can go into staff toilet without worries... haha..

    after that.. chris and maybelle came.. they reach at around 6:40am.. wah.. so late.. heard that chris woke up at 6.. wah.. he looked soooo tired and sick.. aiyoh.. worried for him.. and maybelle told us she didn't sleep much also.. hai~~ all of us didn't get good sleep.. all are tired.. haha..

    anyway.. we did the preparations.. and we stand by and waited at one of the stair way.. wah.. 1st time in so many years.. i participated the morning assembly.. haha.. felt kinda different.. hee.. 1st time after so many year.. sing national anthem in school again.. haha.. felt kinda familiar cause sang that for so many times.. but also felt kinda different cause the school is different.. they had finished upgrading... it look totally different from the past.. and the people are different from last time.. besides that.. one of the most important thing is that i no longer study there le.. so really felt kinda wierd to be there once again..


    anyway.. really very difficult to explain e feelings.. hehe.. after the morning assembly.. we all went to the staff room to get ready.. hehe.. we waited there till we heard the lion dance started.. hehe.. cause we know that there's a lion dance item before us.. hee.. shortly after the lion dance.. the principal and the teachers went and write some chinese characters - traditional way.. hehe.. and we did our performance to entertain the students..
    &lovin' Bb at 10:57 PM♥
    the performance is a success part 2

    haha.. now on the most important part.. hee.. now is time for our performance.. jennifer and i are supposed to perform the cultural one first.. so we get into the position.. and to our surprised.. they took the wrong disc.. they took jennifer's cd.. oh no.. then machi song came out.. wah... all so shocked that time.. then after that .. jennifer and i went behind to wait for the song to be okay...

    then the MC tries to make the audience occupied and said.. if you all want to see the senior perform.. you all must SCREAM~!!~!~! haha.. so funnie..

    and they did.. wah.. the screamed so loud.. like we're superstar like that.. haha

    then after that.. mdm tan ran out from the PA room.. and signal "okay".. jen and i went up again.. hee.. and the crowd cheered.. and we started dancing.. hee..

    wah.. i think i didn't dance my best.. just do steps.. hehe.. actually there's a few times i nearly forgot steps.. i peeped at chris.. hee.. but overall.. my friends said it's nice.. hehe.. very relief.. hehe..

    then the 2nd part is singing chinese new year song.. wah.. cannot make it.. i got very serious mic phobia.. and you want me to sing in front of the whole school?!?!?!?! wah... can't take it.. i think i croak all e way.. haha.. anyway.. just now after i finish the first dance.. i immediately back to the staircase there change.. wah... so chaotic sia.. haha.. after the dance no breath liao still need to rush.. can die sia.. half dead le..

    we performed two CNY song.. the first one sang by pik wei and maybelle.. hee.. (so that we got time to change ma.. ) then after that.. the second song sang by maybelle, me, chris and jennifer.. (pik wei didn't sing cause she got sore throat.. can't sing alot.. ) hehe.. after the second song.. chris got alot of time to crap.. then he very funny.. he really talk crap.. i didn't really listened.. but is really rubbish... funnie.. he talked things like we sang very badly.. etc etc.. haha.. only remember that...

    but he quite poor guy la.. need to crap till the music finish playing.. hehe.. then after that.. we got ready for the last dance.. wah.. we all look so nice from afar sia.. all red red one.. like ang pows.. haha..

    that dance i think i gave more as compared to e first.. hehe.. think partly i got more experience in hip hop ba.. and this dance i prac more.. then overall okie la.. the most memorable is the part when chris flip me over.. wah.. but before that we did some stants la.. then he hit my face .. -_- hai~~ nvm..

    anyway.. i really enjoyed the dance.. hehe.. kinda sad that the dance finished so fast.. we all prac for a very long time lei.. then so fast finish le.. hai~~

    after the performance.. i stroll to the back of the staircase.. wah.. really no breath sia.. haha.. think i spent more than 5 mins to start to get my breath back to normal .. haha..

    then we talk for awhile at the back of the staircase to cool ourselves down and we went up to staff room to rest.. hehe..
    &lovin' Bb at 12:58 PM♥
    Great message...
    Monday, February 07, 2005

    this week's sermon really impacted my life.. hee..

    i really felt that the message is really true.. we really got to work towards maturity.. and maturity takes time.. it's not just a one time event.. it's a process.. even if along the way.. it seems so difficult.. hang on.. new breakthroughs are one the way..

    and i felt that team work is really important.. alone.. we can't accomplish much.. but in a team.. the amount that we can accomplish are multiplied... hee..

    what really speaks to my heart is this part.. it's about attitude..

    everytime we got to hold fast to our hope without wavering.. when circumstances are difficult.. choose to be positive.. and believe.. mark 9:23 says "all things are possible to him who believes." everything starts with a great attitude.. if you live your life full of negative thoughts.. then your life will be miserable.. as you will sub-consciously work towards what you believe in.. so if you believe you are a failure.. you can't succeed.. so choose to be positive in everything you do. whatever you do, believe, and it will come to pass.. you might be emotional at times.. but you can choose to control it.. you can tell yourself to make a decision to think differently.. choose to think positive..

    everytime when problem comes.. face it.. don't try to avoid it.. in order to live a truly victorious life, you got to learn how to solve different kind of problems in your life. even if you choose to avoid it now.. you still need to face it in e future.. as there might be a flaw in you in that area.. if you don't deal with it.. the problem will still be there with you.. so learn to solve it.. you need to have a breakthrough here..

    then besides that.. we got to really help one another.. and not just me, me and me alone.. but really need to help others also.. learn to think of others and not just yourself.. think things like what can i do to bless someone around me.. don't be self-centered.. don't always think about yourself only. if you focus on yourself.. you'll never grow. we have to change our attitude. be like Jesus: an attitude of serving willingly..

    and in life.. learn to smile.. stop complaining.. be positive.. things will turn out better. for me, sometimes i'll always tend to focus on what i don't have.. so end up i'll hear myself complaining about this about that... hee.. during cell group.. the message just hit me.. i have to take away this lousy attitude. instead of focusing what i don't have.. think i different perspective.. focus one what you have right now.. what the Lord had blessed you with..

    though i don't have enough money.. but i choose to focus on God.. He's my provider.. He'll bless me with great blessing that i won't have enough room to receive it.. i own alot of things others don't.. my life is much better.. much more blessed than alot of people... i felt that my life is really happier..

    instead of finding the negative things to talk about.. why not choose the positive to talk?? nothing is perfect in this world.. but why always talk about negative stuff.. isn't there alot of positive things to talk about also?? learn to be thankful.. don't always complain..

    in all circumstances.. praise the Lord.. even if things reallt turn out sooooooo bad.. for me.. i want to choose to praise God.. as He gave me a chance for me to grow stronger. when things don't turn out what i expected to me.. i still want to praise God.. as i know from there.. i learnt to be wiser.. i learnt to deal with this kind of problem better..

    if you keep complaining and complaining.. you can't learn from it.. for me.. i will learn to complain less .. as i know if i continue to have this kind of bad attitude in me.. it will not only affect myself.. but the people around me.. my friends, relatives, etc.

    for example.. last time when exam comes.. i will always complain... "aiyoh.. why the paper is soooooo difficult.. the teacher sure want to give us a hard time.." but later i realise.. teacher give us difficult papers.. they really cared about us.. they want us to learn from mistakes.. next time we can deal with these diffcult questions le.. i felt that i can learn better than papers that are super easy..

    what's the point of scoring high marks and you actually learnt nothing.. coming to school is not about grades.. it's about what have you learnt.. i really learnt this in a hard way.. hehe.. that's during my O's... cause i scored super bad for my mid year and prelims.. then i was quite "complainy" that time.. hee..

    anyway.. choose to have a beautiful attitude... if you need to change the attitude.. change now.. don't wait till it's too late... :)

    i hope that this will benefit you.. hee.. cause this message really impacted my life alot.. after cell group that day.. i realised that i really complain quite alot at times.. i'll tend to complain about the same thing to different people.. hee.. sounded so bad rite.. hee.. but i learnt to be more positive.. now.. i'm less "complainy" le... :)
    &lovin' Bb at 11:54 PM♥
    Praise the Lord~ tomorrow is the time for me to rock WDL upside down~!

    haha.. so happy.. tomorrow is the performance le.. really looking forward to it.. these few days has been a very tiring time for me.. got alot of practices... today just had a last rehearsal in school..

    about the rehearsal just now.. it's really terrible.. we're supposed to be there at 3pm.. but we end up reach there at around 4.. hehe.. very bad hor.. then can see that mdm tan (my teacher) is very stressed.. hehe.. she called chris two times when we're still on e way there..

    then after that.. we reach school le.. prac for a while.. then waiting for pik wei to come.. she reach at around 5.. haha.. then after that she pass e cd to the AVA rep. the sequence for the whole item is:

    i) a cultural dance
    ii) 2 new year songs
    iii) a hip hop dance

    then during e rehearsal.. after the first dance.. we listen to what pik wei had burn.. wah.. it's sooooo techno loh.. chinese new year song.. wah.. had a shocked of my life..haha.. really don't know how to sing it..

    that time mdm tan looked super displeased.. cause it's just too off.. she said we have to take off this one.. and she said the item that we're doing now wanted to be taken off initially.. but end up they still want it.. cause they say we already started practising already.. -_-

    then after that.. pik wei say still got those not so techno CNY songs.. then after that we sing that one loh.. two songs.. chun lian hong and da di hui chun.. then after that we quickly practise the two songs.. kinda stressed up just now.. hai~~ we do up the whole song within 15 mins.. haha..

    maybelle and pik wei singing chun lian hong.. jen, maybelle, chris and me singing da di hui chun.. then chun lian hong supposed to start first.. then maybelle and pik wei sang e song.. ey.. they still not familiar with e song yet.. then sang wrongly quite a few times.. can really see mdm tan really not happy.. hai~~

    then thank God the 2nd song is not bad.. haha.. didn't sing wrongly.. hee..wah.. this song of course cannot sing wrongly la.. i'm singing also lei.. hee...

    then after that.. we prac a few more times.. then we go the hawker near the old woodlands interchange there eat.. hee.. so hungry... after eating.. we went shopping around there.. wah.. Chris bought a super large black bag.. this time he sure will bring alot of things out le.. hai~~besides that .. he bought a pair of white shoes also.. hmmm... i think he's going to paint it.. haha.. i wonder how it will look like... and jennifer bought a pair of black shoes... wah.. so nice.. want it also.. but no more money liao... sob sob.. so sad.. hai~~ must quickly save up enough money then go and buy it.. then i'll have two same shoes with her le..(by e way.. just now before the rehearsal.. i went to orchard to shop with jennifer.. bought a pair of orange shoes.. hehe.. exactly the same with jen.. then i bought a red tank top also.. hee...)

    okie.. then after the quick shopping after dinner.. we all went home.. hehe.. getting ready for tomorrow.. hee.. wah... later must go memorise the lyrics for tomorrow.. cannot forget the lyrics sia.. haha.. must jia you for tomorrow le.. hehe

    &lovin' Bb at 10:38 PM♥
    gonna miss you.. Norman

    Norman~~~~ i'm going to miss ya~~ going to leave Singapore for at least 1 and a half years.. wow.. that's quite long.. must take care wor..

    hai~~ norman is one of my cell group member.. he left for Australia to study for 1.5 years.. he left last saturday night.. so sad.. missing him already..

    don't know will he be able to adapt there.. wah.. will he miss cell group and church also? hai~ hope he'll be very fine there.. hee
    &lovin' Bb at 10:25 PM♥
    Busy Working
    Thursday, February 03, 2005

    today is my second day of work. my duty is with jennifer today.. haha.. so happy.. it's really fun to work with someone you are familiar with.. can work better also.. haha..

    anyway.. don't know why.. today pastamania there got tons of people.. it's far more busy as compared to monday. hee.. jennifer and i almost cannot cope with the workload during peak hours.. thank God today got jennifer with me.. if i'm working alone.. wah.. then it will be super jia lat..

    then jennifer said there are many times when there's alot of people, she will become very 'cartoon'.. haha.. cause she need to keep on working without stop and must be very fast...

    haha.. today's very tired.. back muscle very pain... hai~~ no time to rest.. hai~
    &lovin' Bb at 11:57 PM♥
    I cried
    Wednesday, February 02, 2005

    these few days i've been thinking alot about many things.. don't know why.. suddenly i felt i have heartache.. i found a broken heart in me.. i'm now listening to planet shakers' song.. suddenly felt like cryin.. ... ... how i wish i will leave this bottom of the valley soon... real soon...

    "I love You, all of my hope is in You, Jesus Christ, take my life, take all of of me...."

    i think without Him, i don't know what am i going to do.. i think i'll just breakdown. I love church.. many people don't understand the reason why i am always so busy with church stuffs.. even my mum don't understand..

    it's because in church, i will always find peace.. i will always be recharged. even if things are so bad in front of me.. it's only in the presence of God, i can find the energy to move on. it's in the house of God that i will find true love, an unconditional love. it's in this very house of God, i'll find someone that really understands me and loves me as who i'm.

    nobody is perfect in this world, that includes me. everyone surely have some flaws in their character. but we really need to know this, if not, we'll constantly live a life of bitterness.. instead of living a life of bitterness and constantly dwell in the past, why not live a life more meaningful life, to grow together and help each other to be a better person each day?

    though it sounds easy, but there are not many can do it. for me.. i'm still working towards it. i know God will lead me through.

    i find that Bible is really a very wonderful book. in the Bible, i learnt to be a better person. many years ago, when i'm still unsaved, i'm a very imatured person. i couldn't say i'm very matured now, but i know that all these years, i've grown.

    the house of God is really a very special place. you wouldn't know what's like inside unless you come in the experience it first hand. you can't stay outside of the house of God and try to peep to the inside. you need to come in. i did it many years ago, and i never regret it since then.

    in the house of God, broken hearts can be mended and be made whole. in the house of God, hope can be found. in the house of God, i'm free, really felt so free. i will not feel a pressure within me. in the house of God, i'm satisfied.

    every week, i will really look forward for weekends. i felt like a child always looking forward for her parent bring her to McDonald's. haha.. every weekend, i'll be able to dwell in the house of God. besides that, i can find people who loves me as who i'm, people who loves God, people who never put you down.

    i will never want to leave this wonderful place. i found the best place that i want to be. even if the whole world persecute me, i'll still choose to come to the house of God.

    suddenly felt there's strength for me to move on. felt that my heart is slowly coming back into one piece. felt that i can face the challenges in front of me. cause i know, God will always be with me and consistantly watching over me... :) He will definately guide me through this valley.

    " So i throw my life upon all that You are, cause i know You gave it all for me. and when all else fades my soul will dance, with You, where the love that last forever..."
    &lovin' Bb at 11:10 AM♥
    Tired~ really tired...

    hai~~ i felt that this whole week is so physically and mentally drain for me.. this whole week, 2 nights need to work, 2 nights got dance practise, the rest will have things like open house, cell group, service, dance class, dance rehearsal... so many things to do.. not enough sleep.. very tired..

    but thank God that the exams are over last week.. if not.. think i can die le.. hai~

    oh ya.. yesterday i got back my QA CA1 results.. i got 83 over 100.. haha.. i was so happy.. hehe.. this is my first time getting 80+ in exams in my whole poly life.. hehe.. i'm one step closer to the SMARTER goals that i've set last month. the goal is that i wanna score all A's for all the modules that i take.. hee.. :)

    anyway.. back to this week.. besides physically drain.. i really really felt mentally drain also.. in school and outside school.. there's always pressures around. especially true in school.. not only in school work, but other things also.. i don't know when does it start, i felt that all these things happen after last friday. i don't know how these thing started. and i don't want this to start. but i really felt that all the things that developed so much since starting of july 2004 is coming to an end. many times i really want to give it up. but i can't. this thing is been so long. i don't want to end just like this, i don't want to end it at all. but i really felt there's a difference. everytime i'm in school, i don't feel the same way that i'm used to be. last time, i'm looking forward to go to school everyday, but now.. hai~ i really don't know what to do. felt so lost. it's really obvious that things are not the same as last time, i can tell it. although nobody said anything about it, i knew there's something wrong there. but i don't want to deal with all these now.. i'm tired, just too tired. i need rest.

    i think many of you don't know what am i talking about.. if you don't just ignore it. it's too personal for me to share. i don't want things to get worse. or maybe all these things that i've said last paragraph are just my imaginations.

    how i wish that everything will run very smoothly. i don't know why, things starts to fall apart.. many times i really can't take it anymore. why there's such a dramatic change just these few days alone. sometimes i wish things can start all over again. i thought about all these things that happened these few days.. i always ask myself.. is this really my fault? is it really wrong to do all these? isn't i supposed to be truthful, is it wrong to think the way what the norm don't? is it wrong to score high marks? is it wrong to be busy? is it wrong... hai~~ i'm tired. really very tired.. sick of all these things.. i really wanted this school year to end soon..

    hai~ so sorry.. i'm really in a bad mood today.. maybe because i'm quite physically tired.. i wish this will be over soon... real soon..
    &lovin' Bb at 10:05 AM♥
    Journal
    Tuesday, February 01, 2005

    i bought the journal.. this journal is printed by my church.. inside there is a daily devotion. i find this journal is really wonderful. every day i have a different message, i find that it really helps me alot in my own spiritual growth. i like this journal alot.

    i bought a pen specially for this journal. a pink one.. hehe.. yesterday i use the pen to write the journal.. hehe.. excited~! everyday i'm looking forward for the word of the day... hehe.. :)


    &lovin' Bb at 1:07 PM♥