Tired Sia.. can i rest? can i sleep?
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
felt like i can die anytime.. now at school library.. waiting for time to pass.. don't feel like doing project.. too tired to do.. my brain has stopped functioning le.. so tired physically and mentally sia..
these few days has been vey challenging for me... got projectsssss, dance competition this saturday, work... can really drain my energy to the max~! now is really like half dead.. a walking zombie.. later still need to go dance practise.. wah.. at kembangan somemore.. so far sia..
somemore these few days i need to spend so much on so many things.. now really no money left le.. yesterday paid chris 18 bucks for the dance studio.. sian~~ 18 bucks you know??? that's A LOT~! only for a few hours.. so sian.. felt so sian.. almost one day of my work just to pay for that dance studio.. angry sia.. just now also need to pay back 16.10 for the carnival rental.. so throughout that carnival, i only earn about 15 bucks.. so sian diao loh.. imagine.. work until no night no day.. just for that 15 bucks.. it's so..argh... waste of my time and energy..
wah.. really in a complain mood today.. think i'm really too tired.. really felt like going home now and sleep.. but got dance practise lei.. so sian..
hai~ still need to pay 30 plus for the costume for the dance competition this sat.. and somemore i heard that Ryan is sending a dance team into that same competition also.. wah.. stress..
&lovin' Bb at 5:02 PM♥
Dental appointment~! Oh no..
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
such a close shave, hee... just now i went to have dental checkup. need to do filling and put back the bands for my braces. i did the filling first. it was very scary you know? i always thought it will be very painful. cause i had a bad experience before.
just now when i went into the room and sat down, the nurse took alot of equipments, big and small.. it really scare me sia...
reminds me of my previous filling, that i need to inject some medicine that i will let my mouth go numb. i hate needles ~!~!~!~!~ so was quite scared... hehe.. then the doctor start to help me to do the drilling. when she going to put the drill in my mouth, i was thinging,'thank God no needles.. haha.... ... ... hey.. wait.. no needles?? no numb?? pain how sia??!!!'
i was so tensed up throughout the whole treatment.. haha.. so scared that anytime it'll be painful.. hehe... but the whole treatment was less than 10 mins.. it was very fast.. hehe.. but this time.. felt that it's really not pain at all, seriously.. hehe... although not painful, but i never want to do another filling again.. it's really scary..
&lovin' Bb at 3:57 PM♥
Finally, as what i've promised
Monday, August 22, 2005
it's been a long time.. finally i have fulfilled what i've promised.. to buy ten-year-series for my sister..
these few months, i'm quite dry, financially.. i need to eat from hand-to-mouth everyday.. i'm practically rich on monday and nothing on sunday.. this vicious cycle has been going on and on for quite a few weeks..
finally this week.. there is a slight breakthrough.. hehe.. thank God for that.. my pay came.. hehe.. and finally i can buy ten-year-series for my sister to do, to prepare her for her O levels.. hehe..
i'm meeting her later after i finish my school.. hehe..
really hope that this book can realy help her in her A Maths.. :D
i really love my sister.. she's so cute... i love to bless her.. she's so cute.. sometimes she would pass me some money and she told me she wants to return me money, cause she owes me.. and almost all the time, i don't remember a thing.. haha..
anyway.. i'm really happy that i can buy her this book.. been saving for quite sometime.. haha..
&lovin' Bb at 2:47 PM♥
Love one another
really felt that this phrase really touched my heart. we're called to love one another.
in this imperfect world, people tend to love and adore those who are pretty and handsome, and tend to neglect and ignore those who are not so. i felt that this is so sad, so shallow. is looks more important than anything else? why looks are so important? how will you rate a person when he/ she is so gorgeous and he/she is so lousy in their character?
these few days, the city has been talking about some topics. one of the topic that really concerns me is about 'project superstar'. why can't a person without a full package become a superstar? does he have a choice to choose how he look like? why can't he show off what he's really good at? is looks all you're looking for? why he can't have a right to persue what he really wants? why you guys want to pass him the verdict that he'll not survive in the entertainment world even way before he starts to sing the first note? why you guys are so cruel, trying to rob away his dream?
i felt very depressed when there are some people being neglected, delibrately. why can't he/she have a right to have friends because he/she look different from others?
'oh.. having talents is not enough, you need to have a full package.. ' that's what i heard from people when they talked about the 'project superstar' event.
for me, i felt that, what most important, is not looks. no doubt, if you have good looks, you'll save alot of troubles to try to get yourself being accepted in the community. but is looks really that important? to me, although looks are important, but that will not contribute to the 'life and death' of a person. what i meant is that although looks are important, but what people will see, ultimately, is your character. no matter how pretty or handsome you are, when time goes by, flaws starts to show up.. and your looks won't save you from the fact that you are a lousy person. if you have a bad character, no matter how good looking you're, you'll not be able to be in the limelight for long.
what most important is the heart..
choose to love everyone around you. think about it, if you felt that you're pretty or handsome now, what about 10 years down the road? or 20 years? what will you become when your youthful looks was replaced by winkles? or will you choose to dump your partner if they are not as beautiful as you first knew him/her? will it be sad? if you're the one who are being dump by those people who think that looks are all that matters?
what most important is you, on the inside..
maybe you might think that, 'how can i love a person if he/she is so ugly? i don't have time to love, or even to become friends with a freak?!'
how will you feel if you're the 'freak' in someone else's eyes?
all of us have our own flaws, we're not here to condemn people.. we have no rights to do so either.
we're not here to feel jealous of other people's talents also.. be happy with yourself. don't just focus on your own flaws.. you are beautiful in God's eyes.. cause God don't see you how man do, He sees you as who you are, He sees your heart..
even if nobody in this world loves me, i know that my Heavenly Father still continues to love me as who i am. He don't love me because i look beautiful. He loves me because i AM beautiful, cause i am one of His wonderful creation.. :)
so choose to be happy and move on if you felt that nobody in this world loves you. God still loves you..
all of us are made in the world for a purpose, it is to be a blessing in the lives of others.. so don't make other people's life miserable ya?
choose to love one another, the way you love yourself.. although it seems difficult at first.. but when you choose to step into this new phrase, you'll find yourself experiencing a totally new you.
but if you find it is difficult for you to change overnight, at least, now, what you can do is to try to reconcile whatever spoiled relationships around you, make it good. take a step at a time. i have made a decision to make my life anew long time ago.. to love others as much as possible.. although i couldn't declare that i have perfected it.. but i'm moving towards it.. i know that one day, i can do it..
and since then.. i never regret.. and i know i will never will.. cause where love is, there's liberty.. hearts are being set free when there is love.. hearts start to melt where there is a presence of love.. and hearts start to perish if they feel no love..
seek life, and give life.. love people as who they are..
&lovin' Bb at 1:08 PM♥
Dance.. for Him~!
Dance dance dance
dance before the King
i give You all my heart
i give You everything
dance dance dance
dance before the King
you are the reson that i sing
when i'm on a mountain
lifting my hands
down in a valley
and i don't understand
out in the streets
i'm shouting Your Name
Jesus You'll always be there
whenever i call
whenever i call
____________________
after the spot light fades away.. what will you do? after you have left the stage, stop becoming the limelight in everybody's eyes.. how will you feel?
will you be feeling empty, as you stop becoming what you want to be? or you choose to continue to make that decision to move on.. and allow God to guide you once more to where He wants you to be?
what's your purpose in going to stage to perform for others? is it because you felt that you have a talent in this area and want to make full use of it? or is it because you love to be in the limelight, you want to world to notice you? or is it because you perform, because of God.. you want to dance for Him and for His glory?
not sure which one is the one that you really is? think about it, you have got what you want, to be in front of others to perform.. everyone cheers and clapped and told you you really did a great performance.. suddenly, during this time.. you heard a gentle little voice told you in your spirit, ' if you love Me, give up all these and follow Me..' how will You feel? do you choose to say,' hey God, i am doing so much for You here.. here's where my passion and talents is.. here where i want to be.. here's where i want myself to be..' or ' Okay God, whatever You say, i'll do.. whatever things that i do, doesn't concerns me anymore, what concerns me the most, it's whether the things that i do touched your heart. i will go where you want me to go.. even if it's where i dreaded to go.. i'll go.. because.. You called..'
which one will you be?
will you choose to be the one who wants to live life your own way? or will you choose to be the one who wants to live life God's way?
here's the truth: we're shortsighted in our thinking, our vision. it's all because of our fallen nature, we're not perfect.. but when we choose to focus on God, and depend on Him to guide us, we're on our way to victory. as His ways are higher than our ways.. He knows Your past, present, future.. He knows what's the best for You.. He wants to maximise your potential..
choose to allow Him to guide you.. although the starting will be difficult, as you might need to give up your passion for good.. but it's during this moulding time where you can be conditioned.. to be more like Him.. :D
you can plan your ways, but always let Him guide your paths.. and you are on your way to a victorious life~!
whatever you do, do it unto the Lord..
&lovin' Bb at 1:05 PM♥
Dance Competition
yesterday, i went to have my dance practise at Chris's house. this dance competition is in 2 weeks time. e competition is held in suntec, my group name is pfunky kidz. hehe..
at first, i'm quite nervous, cause i am not very familiar with jazz style. especially the turning, can really drive me nuts.. hehe.. but after learning for a few eights, i start to get used to the style.. hehe.. but i think i really need alot of practise, especially the turning.. i need to control my turns.. hehe.. kinda difficult for me..
i really hope that i can get into the finals.. hehe.. i wanna experience what is it like to dance in the secular world.. hehe.. to dance in competition where there are ALOT of good dancers joining.. hehe..
really must practise hard.. haha..
&lovin' Bb at 1:00 PM♥
Poor Rabbit
Friday, August 19, 2005
so sad.. few days ago my favourite rabbit, hui hui went for operation. cause there is a tumour in his right hind leg. and on tuesday he's back home. he look so painful, i felt so sad for him. my sister said hui hui undergo the operation, need to do some stitches.. ouch.. must be very painful.. feeling pain for my hui hui.. last few days been seeing him lying on the cage.. he could hardly move.. usually, when he saw someone approaching his cage, he would stand up and give his smartest pose to let me see.. but these few days, he lie still in his cage, he didn't' move as much.. he must be feeling very painful.. so sad..
yesterday, finally could see him stand up. when i go visit him after my work, i saw him standing up eating his meal.. haha.. so happy.. there is some slight improvements.. finally could see him moving around in his cage.. finally.. after so many days.. could see him wash his face with his 'hands' .. hehe.. so relieved..
i think rabbits are so poor thing, feeling painful but couldn't express it out.. they must be very strong on the inside to be able to do so.. power sia.. i tried that before, it really feels very terrible to feel pain and couldn't express it out.. it feels worse when you are trying your best to express it out, no body understands you.. poor poor rabbit...
&lovin' Bb at 1:40 PM♥
Foundation Truth 2, Lesson 9
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
just got home, lying on my bed. thinking about my walk with God. looking forward about tomorrow. just now i went for bible study, foundation truth 2, lesson 9. it's about resurrection. it's really solid meat for me. the topic was long but was very interesting. i learnt alot about second coming of Jesus and resurrection. when Jesus comes back, there will be a saparation between the righteous and the evil ones. in revelation, it mentioned about the goat and the sheep, they will be separated. the goats will be banished from God's presence forever after the millennial reign of Jesus. Sudden;y, felt a little fearful. cause if we're not walking right with God, we might not be able to make it into heaven. cause only true believers will be able to make it into heaven.
but i know that by faith, i can get to heaven... hehe.. but one thing that really saddens me is that alot of my friends are not saved yet.. i really pray that they one day will come back to His Kingdom. :)
&lovin' Bb at 11:17 PM♥
sleepy...
just now having break time... playing computer in my school library.. don't know why lei.. usually i play computer.. i can play for hours non-stop and still feeling alright.. just now suddenly.. the tired bug came to my brain.. felt sooooooooooo tired and sleepy... so i slept in front of my computer in the library!! wah.. first time in my life man.. and i really slept.. not just resting wor.. haha.. about 15 mins only la.. hehe..
just woke up... hehe.. so wanna write down... hehe.. yawnz~~
going to class le.. hehe.. still got one tutorial later.. argh.. so many projects to do.. this friday got one test somemore.. jia lat.. like so many things cramped in these few weeks.. i want a holiday~!
&lovin' Bb at 12:58 PM♥
Updating...
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
this is my new blog skin.. do you like it? please feel free to put down your comments.. hehe..
these few days been updating my blog.. cause recently, i have been putting alot of blog entries in my phone.. so now i'm transfering those entries into my blog.. so if you are free.. can look into the achieves and browse through.. you might be able to find some new entries added.. hehe..
happy browsing..
&lovin' Bb at 3:39 PM♥
FOP 2005 day 1
Saturday, August 06, 2005
now on my way to marina south for the carnival.. i'm on a train now, thinking back about yesterday's festival of praise. it's really so fun. i can really sense the presence of God even at the balcony. it's really a very precious time to worship and spend time with Him. After a long day of events yesterday, i finally can really be refreshed. i really thank God for His presence. i sat at the south seats, which is behind the stage. reminds me of my previous encounter with God in SIS. that time, i'm serving as one of the Benny Hinn's choir. it's really a wonderful time. though need to sing for all the services, but i never felt sick of serving, i felt that serving is not difficult at all. though physically is very tired, but i really enjoyed all 3 services. it has totally changed my life. Pastor Benny is walking so close with God. every service was simply electrifying! i wonder when can i have that level of anointing? i really want to get closer with God.. i really want ..
&lovin' Bb at 10:30 AM♥
Zoo Outing
Monday, August 01, 2005
went Zoo last monday with my Poly class. hehe.. it's really a fun day for me. i really enjoyed it alot. i can get to see many kinds of animals... suddenly felt like i become an expert in animals.. hehe.. it's relly fun to go to zoo sia.. all the kiddish feeling came back.. felt like a little kid like that.. haha.. it's really been a very fun time.. love it alot lei.. hehe..
the best part of the whole zoo trip is to see the animal show. it'salways been a lightlight forme whenever i go to the zoo.. the seal is really cute~! took many videos of the animal show.. haha.. so next time can get to watch again.. the seal really swam very fast loh.. very powerful sia.. and they can really communicate with their instructor.. i wonder how they train them one.. hehe.. those animals are so cute, so intelligent..
then i remembered the advertisements said that there are giraffes.. so my friends and i went to search for it happily, hoping to have a glimpse of the tallest animal in the world.. hehe..
but after that i really sian diao sia.. the giraffes are sooooo small, so tiny sia.. only about two storey high sia.. not as tall as i imagined it to be.. but the giraffes are really cute.. they are quietly eating leaves from a 'tree' that time.. hehe..
spend a whole day there, it's really fun.. next time if possible rite.. can go again.. see animals.. hehe..
&lovin' Bb at 1:02 PM♥
Name: Manman<3
God's Little Girl, Bb, Dance, Love, W16, Paint, Food, Sleep