Living for a new tomorrow.

BBG

Friday, August 25, 2006

today went for make up cell.. and for all cell i went to BBG to have make up cell.. hee.. it is at raffles place.. it's so cool la.. all the business people, working adults all come.. and there are many church leaders are attending that cell group also..

the cell group is at one of the rooms in ntuc building... looks like a small theatre with a little stage.. the chairs are all cushioned and v nice.. it's really different with other CG.. cause this CG got at least 200 people attend.. haha..

pastor ming talked about relationship with people.. what kind of relationship is important.. i'm really blessed by the sermon.. after that he had a altar call.. regarding those who are previously hurt by someone that is close to you.. and power of God just came.. was really blessed by attending the CG..

after that i waited outside at the lobby.. kel is at attributes counter having duty.. tiong kun went home shortly after that.. kel gave me a little card.. so nice of him.. really blessed by what he wrote on the card.. after that he told me the message on the card was taken from a book of his that has the market price worth few thousand bucks.. where got such a book that is so ex? anyway.. don't bother to find out what book is that.. haha..

at ther lobby, i met audrey, madeline, and veroy there... cause they have children church there also.. is for the BBG.. after that went to lau pa sat with madeline and veroy.. we ate dinner there.. hee... it's really v fun eating with both of them.. really long time never fellowship with madeline le.. really miss her.. she slim down quite alot.. haha..

and funnie thing is audrey, madeline and veroy keep saying i slim down alot.. i was realyl shocked.. i thought i grown fatter as compared to emerge that time.. haha.. funnie sia.. strange.. maybe i wear all black ba.. look slimmer.. hee..

after that i went home by mrt loh.. madeline sat on veroy's car.. hee.. really enjoyed myself today.. hee..

&lovin' Bb at 1:44 AM♥

2nd day of dispatching

woah.. thank God that today's call not as high as yesterday.. but i still doing kinda slow.. today got improvement.. left the office at 6.30.. hee.. really very happy... today i can manage better.. not sure is because of the not-so-high calls or i became more efficient. hopefully is the second one..

dispatching is really v stress.. ate alot of chocolates today... cause really v stressful.. talked to myself many times..

remembered that time i always ask casandra why she like to talk to herself when she is doing dispatching.. now i fully understand.. haha.. and i am so much worse than her.. haha..

tomorrow is D&D.. it's gonna be fun!

&lovin' Bb at 1:38 AM♥

First day of dispatching...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

finally i pulled through the first day of my dispatching.. today.. it's another busy day.. i totally can't take call at all.. busy dispatching calls..

for north district.. it really has alot of engineers.. good thing is that when call is high.. i can get more people to help.. but the bad part is that i really need to send call fast.. today the engineers keep chasing me to take calls.. really getting out of breath.. cause don't know why they all take call at the same time.. hai~ then my speed is really very limited.. so when i dispatch one out.. 3 more come in and take call.. then in between also have some hic ups.. and when engineers call you.. you need to pick up.. oh man.. really got alot of things to do..

but thank God that today the calls is not as high as last two days.. today the calls average at 20 like that.. really thank God.. haha.. if not i am going to kill myself.. haha.. just kidding..

today casandra's side the call is super super high.. alot of company chase her for svc.. but her engineers are really very limited... could see that she's really stressed out..

then i'm supposed to plan next day's call from 4pm onwards.. but at 5.30 i haven't even start planning .. thank God joey at 5.45 help me to take call.. so that i can concentrade on planning. i plan till 6.35 and at 6.49 then go back.. hai~~ so late..

really want to thank God that today the calls is not really high.. and most of the customer are really nice and not really very demanding.. if not i can really die...

but today after work i blank out again.. but today is slightly better than yesterday.. at least today's blank out not so serious...

tomorrow will be a better day..

&lovin' Bb at 9:16 PM♥

stress out~ blank out~

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

these few days.. working is really getting more and more stressful..been learning how to do dispatching.. really v stress.. firstly, i'll be taking care of north district.. and north is one of the biggest district... in terms of area, it's actually the biggest.. and i also taking xes board.. so i'm taking two boards in total. oh man.. it's really stressful to do dispatching.

today morning i went to work as per normal. joey ask me whether i want to take alone today. but after that we decided that i train for one more day..

today as usual.. very high calls.. highest calls at one time is more than 32.. imagine you got 32 outstanding calls waiting for you to dispatch. you need to understand which engineer is trained in which product, which area they are.. and you also need to make sure you respond the call within a certain period of time... make sure that you will not be wrong in admin...

today many times i really blank out.. suddenly forgot totally what i want to do.. my trainer, joey was asking me many times how come i suddenly stop doing everything.. i really blank out..

during lunch i really cannot take it le.. went out and walk walk to buy food with casandra.. having headache already..

after lunch continue to jia you.. all the way till 6.. joey help me take call from 5.30 to 6.. so that i can dispatch next day's call.. during that time.. really blank out even more freq.. really don't know who to dispatch.. and which call to dispatch..

after work.. went to meet bro valor, jeremy and kel at suntec.. cause got leader's meeting later. really totally blank out.. headache getting from bad to worse.. even thinking of what to talk gives me headache..

went to sky garden.. that time really cannot take it le.. if i'm there alone sure will cry like crazy.. after that kel suggest go arcade there play game.. it's fun.. during playing.. kinda forget about it.. but after playing.. reality hits back.. by the time go up to church office.. headache came back.. but is much lesser.. but still can ta han la.. so continue to hang on loh.. what to do..

after that travel back home.. i get myself to sleep all the way to woodlands.. don't want to keep myself awake.. later i think too much again..

walking back to home really is a blank out trip.. my mind is really tired.. really really tired.. want to give my brain a rest.. headache getting from bad to worse again.. oh man..

after that when get home still need to complete the cg outing planning.. really couldn't think at all.. headache pain till wanna bang wall that kind.. never tried that before in my whole life man.. thank God for pui man.. she really helped me alot.. if not i sure can't think of any de..

sitting there in front of computer screen whole day is really a torture.. but when you sit down there.. blank out.. don't know what to do.. is even worse..

now the planning is almost done.. still need to finish up some typing.. really dying soon.. can't go sleep yet.. sian.. tomorrow sure no time to type the planning de.. only can do now.. headache is killing me sia.. really no time and no mood to joke.. and on msn i was being asked alot of questions.. cannot take it le la.. headache is really killing me.. but need to complete what i need to do..

never tried cg outing planning can plan till cry de.. think i really too stressed out le la.. tomorrow will be a better day.. (i hope) oh man.. don't know i can be this state for how long.. not sure whether i can really cope with the stress level for my work not... but if i don't learn to cope now.. next time i still need to cope the same stress level in other jobs.. just hang on loh.. what to do.. hai~~ how long will this be sia.. cannot take it le.. feel so alone.. oh God... gimme the strength to pull through.. i can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me!! i believe it.. declare by faith.. really by faith... hai~

&lovin' Bb at 11:12 PM♥

feeling sick again..

Thursday, August 17, 2006

these two days really feeling really tired.. think because of the medicine ba.. yesterday went to see doc.. doc say i got minor food poisoning.. think i ate something wrong.. hmm.. anyway..

yesterday woke up really felt really tired.. body aching all over.. tummy upset also.. i didn't go to work of course.. rest at home.. really wanna do something meaningful.. but really don't have the energy to do..

decided to pack my room.. hee.. didn't pack alot.. cause really felt so weak.. not enough strength.. during 4plus then manage to get out of my house to see doc..

after that at home got prayer meeting.. the prayer meeting was good.. maybe because i sick.. couldn't concentrate well.. can't pray quite well also.. my prayer partner is steph.. we prayed together.. and i prayed for her also..

my first time pray for others to receive the gift of tongue.. and somemore is alone.. woah.. praise the Lord that it's successful.. hee..

after prayer meeting.. we went out to mac there eat.. really don't dare to eat pasar malam food le.. especially that particular stall that i went on tues.. i suspect is that stall that make me sick.. haha..

anyway.. accompany kel go buy corn at pasar malam.. he bought some malay snack.. taste like 'you tiao' .. quite nice..

stayed at mac till bout 11 ba.. then all went back..

still feeling alright yesterday.. today i go to work as usual.. finally got to see my manager.. she came back from her holiday..

and today i got training.. learn how to do dispatching... really feeling quite lost sia... cause really got alot of things to do.. you need to know about the product.. and also which engineers are trained in which product.. and the places in singapore.. must send nearby calls to engineers.. and also keep track of the timing.. make sure that the calls are responded asap.

really alot of things to take note.. really kinda lost.. haha..

after work went shamini house to give tuition.. feeling breathless when i went into her house.. really felt really tired.. suddenly.. don't know why..

managed to teach her till about 9.15 ba.. then i went back.. when i was at the LRT station.. really feeling very breathless.. breathing very heavily.. then when i was at CCK mrt.. really felt like no strength le.. could barely walk.. if ask me to run.. sure cannot take it..

then when i got on the train.. fell asleep almost immediately .. by the time train reach yew tee.. i sleep le.. almost missed my stop.. haha..

don't know why lei.. really felt so weak.. getting headache + giddy.. oh man.. and now i even have difficulty typing.. felt like i need alot of energy to type the words out.. argh.. i don't wanna fall sick.. really want to be strong.. so that tomorrow can attend Dr A R Bernard's conference.. really wanna tap as much from the man of God...

&lovin' Bb at 10:24 PM♥

Guitar Class Outing

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

hee.. yesterday went hang out with kel's guitar class friends.. been hanging out with them for quite a few times.. think i'm closer to them then to my beginner class's friends..

lily booked a place at the jack's place @ orchard.. kind of a ulu place sia.. i didn't know near HMV there have jack's place.. haha..

i reached the HMV @ about 6.30.. went to meet kel first.. hee.. cause i really have no idea where the restuarant is... we went to youth park first.. cause it's kinda early .. met hubert there..got to know a new friend- issac.. they having rollerblade lesson there.. wow.. they are really pro la.. i wonder whether i can reach that standard.. haha.. think from super noob to pro.. think will fall many many times.. haha.. don't dare to try.. haha.. then kel keep asking me to learn.. think better don't try my luck.. haha..

saw quite a few skateboarding there.. saw one little kid.. look really very young.. think about 8-10 years old only.. and he really can skate sia.. woah.. amazed.. a genius.. haha..

stay there till about 7.30. and we go meet jason at the mrt station and we make our way to jack's place together..

almost all the people are there already.. so paiseh to be late.. first time talk to bro james.. he's very friendly.. hee.. i heard alot about him... heard that his guitar is really super pro.. hopefully one day can listen to him play.. hee..

wah.. really ate alot yesterday.. ordered a meal.. and i couldn't finish.. end up the dessert need to share with kel.. hee.. if not i sure waste alot of food..

i bought ribeye steak, with chicken soup, mango icecream and tea.. hee.. so cool la.. enjoyed myself.. e steak not as nice as i expected.. but it's still nice.. hee..

we talked about alot of things la.. talk about work, guitar, marriage and even things like tic-tac-toe.. haha.. didn't know so many people join tic-tac-toe.. wonder how is it like.. but too bad i can't join.. i underage.. haha.. oh well..

it was really a very fun experience eating with them.. love the fellowship.. looking forward for the next gathering.. haha.. we made our way back to home at 10.30.. wah.. was really very full. but don't know why i go home still can eat..

haha.. really can eat sia.. haha.. sad.. getting fat already.. wanna go on diet.. think i'll say forever and never get it done.

&lovin' Bb at 3:28 PM♥

boring

now i'm in office.. hee.. bored.. today casandra and kimberly on MC.. sad.. i wonder who will work with me later.. really don't want to work alone. as if i work alone.. think i will get crazy.. one person take service calls for the whole company lei.. haha.. sad..

just now in the morning really cannot take it sia.. supposed to be full fast de.. then feeling really giddy.. so decided to have vege fast instead.. then just now at lunch time.. wanna go get fruits.. then it was raining cats and dogs sia.. and darryl and jennifer got some muffins.. i got one of it.. wow.. it's super nice.. hee..

anyway.. i end up didn't go to get the fruits.. cause don't want to wet my hair.. hee..

yeah.. tonight can wash hair le.. my hairstylist say must wait for 48 hours before i can wash my hair.. wah.. feeling terrible already.. got used to wash hair everyday.. hee..

&lovin' Bb at 3:12 PM♥

yeah.. i love straight straight hair..

Sunday, August 13, 2006

hee.. just now went chapter 2 rebond my hair... hee.. although it's really kinda expensive.. cost me about 200 bucks.. but i love their service.. hehe.. i don't mind paying more to ensure that my hair is well treated.. hee..

overall.. love the exp there.. next time will still go back to chapter 2 to do hair.. hee..

woah.. love my straight hair.. but 2 days cannot wash hair sia..don't know how can i be able to survive.. sure stink..haha..

&lovin' Bb at 10:28 PM♥

little thoughts..

sometimes... just felt that people are so weak.. people can really fall easily.. so vulnerable to disappointments..

many times.. i fall into this category too.. manytimes.. felt so weak.. felt like it'll be a miracle if God could deliver me.. felt like giving up many times.. felt frustrated.. felt sad.. felt worthless.. felt like why God allow this thing to be there, at that point of my life.. but God is always faithful.. everytime when we are faithless, He's always faithful.. He never fails to deliver me again and again..

many of my friends are having difficult times.. some having personal issues, some relationship with someone..

sometimes when people fall.. the bravest thing that the person can do is to stand up again and face the storms..

many chose to let go.. and leave everything.. giving up.. feeling resentful, feeling disappointed.. feeling angry, fed up, just feel like having a get-away..

not many choose to pick themselves up.. even when times they don't have any strength left.. still choose to bite their teeth and stand up once again.. i think that they are the bravest people around..

when you are weak.. when you are tired.. when you are weary.. God is your strength, your rest, your refuge..

when there is no one to turn to.. always look up onto God..

when Jesus went through the cross.. there is no one there with Him.. He bore the sins, shame, sicknesses, curses of all mankind alone.. thinking of no one to turn to.. what about Jesus.. but Jesus still choose to bear the sins for you and me.. because of Him, we're free..

Jesus.. thank You..

when we are weak.. He is strong.. His mighty hand will deliver you through storms..

God not just will deliver you.. God can also mend every broken relationship.

God can heal every broken heart..

when you feeling like there is no way you can restore this relationship with someone.. look onto God.. He'll restore every broken relationship.. His power is more than sufficient..

&lovin' Bb at 1:30 AM♥

what i wanna do..

here's a little check list of what i wanna do in near future..

1) want to serve God more in cell group ministry. praying hard that God will teach me how to be a better shepherd.. God's style of shepherding..
2) want to excel in my work. although it's really a great challenge for me.. but i really want to be one of the best in my department.. (my department is kinda small.. to be one of the best really needs alot of effort. i believe that i can do it!)
3) want to play good guitar, don't want to play muted all the time. i don't want to play songs that just sound nice, but songs that are anointed, full of the presence of God.
4) want to start my own business. having a business is really in my heart. one day in near future i definately will start one. but the details i'm still praying for it. i haven't decided on things like the merchandise, the business scope, pricing, location, time management.. etc etc..

and also whether i should do it alone or start a partnership with someone or with a few people. if i'm going to have a partnership with others.. really must make sure that they are good people.

i'm still praying for a direction. one person to start a business is really difficult, not sure whether i can handle it alone.. but if i get someone to join in, ask who?

&lovin' Bb at 12:38 AM♥

one week's summary

Saturday, August 12, 2006

haha.. this week was another very busy week for me.. as usual..

monday went to sentosa, tuesday have leader's meeting, wednesday went ice skating, thursday have bible study at suntec, friday cell group, saturday service.. haha.. everyday full of things to do..

sometimes really enjoy every single moment that i can just stone there.. haha.. sometimes just wanna stare to blank space for a few moments..

sometimes really get quite tired physically.. but i know that it's a good training ground for me.. i believe that my life will be more exciting in the future..

&lovin' Bb at 11:54 PM♥

i don't want to be a servant.. i want to learn how to be a daughter..

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

today pastor aries shared with us about the difference between a servant and a son/daughter..

a servant.. are willing to do their master's will.. but being a servant in nature.. he/she is only willing to fulfil what's required on him/her.. nothing more..

many times him/her will get sick at tired of the job, he/she finds that it's a chore to be working under the master.. to the servant.. it's work, work and more work.. the vision is short sighted.. the servant could not see the big picture.. all the servant felt is frustration.. always felt not appreciated.. don't understand why the master wants so much from him/her.. and the servant will always felt that they are underpaid and over worked...

many times.. when we do things.. we're acting like a servant.. short sighted, just doing the job required.. nothing more than that..

a son/daughter.. they will be more than willing to complete their father's will.. the father's will is their will.. as they love their father.. they're willing to lay the extra mile for their father.. the difference here is that a son/ daughter could understand their father's heartbeat.. they are able to see beyond what their Father require of them.. they look into what their father really wanted.. meeting his expectation..

many times.. when things get tough.. i will be like a servant.. just doing what i need to do.. nothing more... sometimes i will get really tired of what i am doing.. many times.. frustration and disappointments never fail to visit me..

but today onwards .. i really want to have the heart of my Heavenly Father.. i want to be His daughter.. to be able to understand how He feels.. how He look at things.. i want to beat the same heartbeat as Him..

i want to come to a place where by i'm looking things in a daughter's point of view.. want to fulfil my Father's business.. and i'll be more than willing to complete everything that my Father wanted me to do.. instead of looking things at a servant point of view.. where everything that i do is a chore for me.. working for my master that demands everything from me..

but i know that if i do well.. my Father will reward me.. i'm a heir.. not a worker.. i belong to God's Kingdom, His Family..

&lovin' Bb at 1:30 AM♥

Sentosa Trip

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

just came back from sentosa.. went to meet up with jacky, minkuan and kel after my work.. and we go sentosa together.. haha.. cause need to plan for the cell group outing on 27aug.. will have amazing race there.. hee.. still got alot of things need to plan.. those little little things..

went into sentosa about 7.30pm.. and we walked to many many places.. kinda tired of all the walking.. but i enjoyed spending time with them..

it's kinda scary at nite.. cause got bats flying around.. jacky almost being hit by a bat .. cause e bat flew so low and so fast.. haha.. but e strange thing is i didn't see e bat at all.. and jacky was standing right beside me. think i too tired la.. can't spot e bat.. haha..

anyway.. we walked around.. just nice got e musical fountain.. we stayed and watch the last few moments of the show.. it really have great improvement since the last time i saw.. although the story line is okay.. but the technology, music, graphic, the atmosphere is awesome... love it man..

i didn't know musical fountain has already move on from just water and lazer.. now got more than that.. the graphic like watching movie.. got full colour graphics also man.. give it a 9/10..

we really went to many many places.. and at nite the scenery is so different.. it's so nice.. especially you look over to the main land.. the lights are simply charming.. haha..

we went to some ulu places also.. woah.. so dark.. and all of them like to scare me sia.. sad..

we sat down and plan for a while before we took a bus home.. hee.. slept on the bus.. and this bus is e most er xin bus i ever sat.. cause this is the starting point of the bus.. so the aircon, lights have not on for a long time.. we board the bus once the driver got ready.. me and min kuan walk ahead.. after that jacky shouted at the back.. he saw many many insects.. OMG!! i didn't see soooooooo many cockroaches in a bus in my entire life!! so many sia.. easily you can spot more than 30!!!

OMG.. really want to get down from the bus just now.. don't even dare to sit on the chairs.. cause i wore skirt.. what if those little crawling things climb up to me how?!?!

i killed a few that is near me.. hee.. really scary sia..

but slowly as the bus getting colder .. the cockroaches seems to have disappeared.. think they went to hide somewhere.. and the bus is faster than i expected.. initially we thought that the bus need 1.5 hours to reach woodlands.. but it only took about 1 hour to reach.. hee.. faster than what i expected.. coolest..

had a great day working and outing.. hee.. looking forward for the amazing race in the end of the month

&lovin' Bb at 1:36 AM♥

Festival of Praise 2006

Monday, August 07, 2006

Woohoo! haha.. this year FOP is another awesome year! haha..love the presence of God there.. hee.. hmmm.. but i still like my church better.. cause i feel most like home.. everyone will do the same thing as you..

this year.. i was really blessed by the praise and worship.. CCC band and don moen came over and minister to us.. wow..

don moen is really charming.. although he's not young.. but he is still as charming.. haha.. the glory of God really shine through him.. the presence of God is really tengibly felt in the stadium when we sing..

starting to look forward to nexy year's FOP already.. haha.. Delirious? is coming.. cool!!

&lovin' Bb at 1:06 AM♥

Blessed by Casting Crowns

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Casting Crowns - And Now My Lifesong Sings

'I once was lost, but now I'm found
I once was lost, but now I'm found
So far away, but I’m home now
I once was lost, but now I'm found
And my lifesong sings

I once was blind, but now I see
I once was blind, but now I see
I don't know how, but when He touched me
I once was blind, but now I see

And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings

I once was dead, but now I live
I once was dead, but now I live
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You'

This song has really touched my heart.. this song is sung by Casting Crowns.. really wanna let my life to be a song to God.. wanna devote my whole life unto Him.. when one day i end this life journey on earth.. and went to heaven, i want my life to be a wonderful song.. a song that spend my whole life to write.. and it'll be a sweet song.. .. ..

thinking back.. God has brought me through many obstacles.. times when i am down, and times when i really experience mighty breakthroughs.. God is always my shepherd that are willing to be patient with me and always be there to guide me.. when i stray away.. He guided me back..

from the day i was born till now.. so many things happened.. so many regrets and disappointments.. but one thing for sure.. i never regretting coming into God's Kingdom to be one of His citizen... never regretted..

so many things i don't understand.. but His grace and wisdom is so so so beyond my imagination and i couldn't comprehend..

just like that song.. once i was lost.. and now i'm found.. my life.. to You.. i give.. let my lifesong sing to You.. let it be a sweet sound in Your ear..

&lovin' Bb at 10:27 PM♥

nonsense.