Living for a new tomorrow.

my dead vision.. came alive

Sunday, July 02, 2006

thank God for today's service.. it's been a real blessing to me.. pastor talked about visions.. he gave examples from the Bible.. Peter.. he put his life, all his hope, all his future on Jesus.. when Jesus declared to His disciples that He's going to die.. more than just feeling sad.. he felt his vision threatened.. maybe he will be thinking,'if Jesus will really die.. how can my vision for being a fisher of men come to pass? without Jesus.. how can i do whatever God call me to do?'

to Peter, without Jesus means that his vision, his dreams, his desire for having a higher calling in his life, a desire of a life that is more than just a fisherman at the sea of galilee is being threatened..

'how can i survive without Jesus..?'

pastor gave another example.. Judas.. when he heard Jesus' declaration that He's going to die.. he felt that he need to do something..

what he placed upon Jesus is more than just wanting to follow Him.. what's really inside of Him is that Judas want more money, period. Judas thought that through Jesus, he could be prosperous too..

but this vision.. this future.. Jesus.. is going to die..

Judas decided that before Jesus dies.. he could get some money out of Him.. to minimise the cost..

Judas sold Jesus for 30 pieces of silver..

in the process.. he sold his own soul too..

does Jesus worth only 30 pieces of silver? does Judas' soul worth 30 pieces of silver? NO! definately not..

but why there are so many people.. including me.. willing to settle for something that is lower in value.. and not willing to pursue the better, the God given life?

it seems so foolish of Judas to do that.. but many times.. we are living a life exactly like this.. choose to live a second rated life.. choose to seek shortcut to success.. choose to spend a life without vision.. choose to live a life that is self-satisfying.. ain't we doing exactly the same as what Judas did?

i was really being challenged by the message.. i got to continue to lean on God.. really need to trust that He'll truly provide the best of the best for you.. many times i couldn't believe that God will really truly provide the best one for me.. i say best is really really the best.. sometimes i felt discouraged and i will think to myself,' maybe.. maybe.. God will provide.. maybe.. hopefully.. God will provide good things for my life.. but as for the best.. will i have the chance to get it? .. will i?'

today.. this mindset is being broken.. i know that God will truly provide for me.. although things does not happen now.. i know that God will plan and provide for me.. whatever i need.. somehow.. provision will be there.. and it'll not be second rated.. it'll be first grade.. it'll be the best!

Pastor also talked about vision.. after that he preached on.. he talked about Peter.. Jesus said that Peter will deny Him for 3 times.. Peter don't believe.. and indeed.. when Jesus.. Peter's vision, hope, future is being dragged away by the guards.. he's lost.. he's with the crowd.. following Jesus and see what his vision will become.. but he is so far back in the crowd.. he no longer have the strength to proclaim that he's the disciple of Jesus.. he no longer have the ability to stand strong in the crowd..

'what happened to my dream? didn't Jesus said that i can be a fisher of man? what am i doing here.. looking at Jesus.. dying... ... .. '

true enough.. he denied Jesus 3times.. and after the third time. their eyes met.. when Peter looking at his Lord.. he remembered what Jesus said.. he ran off bitterly..

i wonder how Peter felt that time.. must be feeling really terrible..

after that.. Peter went back to his old life.. fishing..

many of us.. we really want to serve God more.. to be able to live the fullest in everything for Him.. but many times.. after being pumped up.. many discouragements, dissapointments came rushing in.. slowly.. many will choose to slow down the pace.. they no longer run.. they start to jog.. or walk.. some even choose to give up.. choose to leave this race altogether..

what a sad day it'll be.. being forced to live a life that you thought you'll never live again.. as you thought that this dream of yours will never ever come to pass.. maybe you think that dream is just wishful thinking.. it'll never come to pass.. just settle for the old life and admit that this will be your destiny..

sometimes i will think this way too.. sometimes i will think to myself,' where will i go? is this dream really for me? will i be able to fulfill this? am i qualified? God.. are you sure i can fufill this? will i be able to run this race? what if i ran the wrong way.. what am i going to do?....'

many times i will give myself so many questions like this... sometimes i will really confuse myself..

but i'm not willing to go back to old life.. i don't want to live that kind of life anymore.. although i got more time for myself.. but i don't want that kind of life.. i don't want.. i rather die than living back that kind of life.. but sometimes things seems so difficult to move on.. sometimes have this feeling of just give up everything.. .. sometimes things seems to leave me with no choice but to turn back.. to the old life..

but thank God that i didn't do that.. i choose to press on.. although in front of me is a dead end.. i still want to break the wall down and move on.. i simply don't want to go back.. really don't want..

Pastor continue on... he said that Jesus went to meet Peter they all at sea of galilee.. ask them to throw their nets on the other side.. and they caught alot of fish.. once Peter know that the man on the shore is Jesus.. he didn't wait for the boat to row back.. he jumped into the sea and ran to meet Jesus.. wow.. what eagerness..

if i tell you.. your dead dreams will come alive again.. what will you do?

for me.. i'll be like Peter.. ran to Jesus.. no matter what's stopping me.. i just wanna run to Him and get my vision back.. i want my life to be walking according to His will..

Peter found his vision back.. and through him.. many turn to the Lord.. he truly had became what Jesus told him to be.. to be fishers of men.. to bring multitudes to the Lord..

in the service.. i made the same declaration too! i want my vision to come alive once more..

the presence of God was soooo strong.. so strong.. woah.. totally melted by His power.. pastor prayed for the leaders and helpers.. wow.. so priviledge to go and bring prayed for... wow.. at the front.. presence of God is so strong.. everyone can feel the power of God.. many.. including me.. cried.. it's been a long time since i cried in svc..

i was so blessed by the service.. so blessed.. felt so refreshed.. felt that i have strength to move on.. felt that i can do something great for God.. felt that i can have the ability to do great things for Him!

&lovin' Bb at 1:29 AM♥

nonsense.