Night before Exam
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Yesterday after work, I rush home, have dinner, and start to study. Still have a lot of things don’t understand. Only 6 chapters, but I couldn’t understand at least half of it. Trying hard to understand as much as possible. No time to memorize. Thank God is open book. But I don’t think I will have the time to slowly flip through. At least better than no book to flip.
Called Bb about 10pm, feeling quite down, don’t understand what I’m studying now, everything can’t get in. feeling information overload already but still need to squeeze everything in. Bb asked me whether I got approach people for help. I did. But how much a can get help from? Bb asked about any CG people can help me. I said maybe Jia Hui can help, but I think it’s not a good idea. Firstly Jia Hui’s busy. And I suddenly ask questions, don’t think she’ll remember. Then Bb said I should have tried to ask at least.
I was feeling very stressed out, wanna cry already. I kept quiet. Bb said I got things didn’t tell him then we ended conversation shortly.
Give myself sometime to cool myself down and get myself back to study.
Study till about 11pm, already feeling very flat. But I haven’t read through theory. Just nice Bb called. I told him I still need to read through the theory then can sleep. Bb sound concern and ask me to sleep early, tomorrow then read. I insist need to at least read through once tonight.
I flip through the notes, did some highlighting. When I come to chapter 2 already feeling very sleepy, force myself to flip finish the whole book then can sleep.
Called Bb again after I finish everything. Feeling very very flat. Call ended very fast and I switch off my lights and prepared to sleep.
Within seconds, suddenly feeling very worried of the exams tomorrow. Feeling very fearful, suddenly don’t feel like going for the exams tomorrow. Felt so not prepared, no way I can score well for my exams. Can’t take e stress anymore, I cried.
I switch on the lights again and called Bb. I felt so low confidence of myself, felt myself so stupid that I can’t understand the course. I was thinking why in the first place I want to take up this course, it’s so difficult. Thinking that still got at least 3 semesters to go makes me cry even harder. Sob sob…
Then Bb prayed for me. Felt a lot better after that. :D Thanks Bb. Faith come back to me again. I know I can do well tomorrow. Need to keep myself calm.. if I really encounter things that I don’t know, just write whatever I know. Each mark is important.
Remember that time when I having my O levels, also encountered the same thing. Feeling so no confidence of myself, having a prelim results of L1R5 26 is not a good thing. 26 points can go no where. I don’t want that kind of results in my actual. That time I got one classmate got 15points for prelim, I prayed to God that I want to get 15 for L1R5. that time I was thinking how can I get that kind of results, no way I can do it. but I still ask for it anyway, and I trust God that He will be with me in the exam hall.
God answered my prayers, I really got L1R5 15 points for my actual. I was surprised and happy at the same time.
Yesterday night I remembered that, I believe that if God gave me a miracle when I’m 16, the next best thing that He could do is to repeat the miracle for me. I’m believing God that I can score well for this exams. :D I'm believing God for an A.. Hope it'll come to pass.. :D
&lovin' Bb at 11:10 PM♥
Name: Manman<3
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